I’m writing this with a heavy heart following the tragic death of an American legend. It’s a stark reminder to make the most out of every precious moment you’re afforded because tomorrow is not promised. If I could take away just one thing from Kobe’s legacy it would be “everything negative – pressures, challenges – is an opportunity for me to rise.” I will always keep those words close to my heart. Every achievement in my life has been built on hardship which has given me the strength to chase my dreams no matter how impossible they may seem.
One day I would like to open up about my past and share where I’ve come from because it’s such an important piece of who I am today. You may discern me as someone that’s “privileged” or doesn’t know “real struggle” if you’re judging me from the outside. The truth is my layers are much deeper than the highlight reel you see on social media. Most of my life I’ve been ashamed to talk about the hardships I’ve been through so I lived a lie just to fit in and feel normal. This lead to depression and identity issues in my younger years because I never felt comfortable in my skin. I knew who I wanted to be but I wasn’t able to be that person because of my environment.
My ambitious disposition made me unstoppable- a force to be reckoned with. I knew one day I was going to have everything I’ve ever wanted if I just show up everyday and put the work in. The difference between winners and losers is simple- losers quit. The Apple’s and Amazon’s of the world aren’t here because of luck, they just didn’t give up when their competition did. Progress isn’t always an upwards trajectory, it’s a messy fucking scribble. Sometimes you take 2 steps forward to take 10 steps back. But those failures are the greatest part of your journey. They give you the skills and tools you need to get to the top and STAY at the top.
If I’m able to touch just one person with my message, then my purpose is fulfilled. I encourage you to be the best version of yourself and to never let anyone convince you that your dreams are too big or unrealistic. It’s 20 fucking 20. The person you were yesterday does not define you, it’s never too late to be WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
With that being said, I wanted to share with you my goals this year. I’ve never publicly shared this stuff before but I felt like it was the best way to keep me accountable. If I’m writing them here for the world to read, I must achieve them!
Ok, so here are my goals and intentions for this year-
Be more present
This is a big one. I spend a lot of time planning my next move instead of enjoying the preset moment. Other times I’m so riddled with anxiety about things that haven’t even happened yet that it takes away from the joy of my day. A book that has really helped me with this is The Untethered Soul. It teaches you how to take a center seat in your inner conscience where you are aware of what’s happening but don’t react based off of emotion. This was super helpful and a lot cheaper than therapy- lol. I also want to work on making better eye contact with people when they speak to me, especially my fiancé. I find myself distracted on my phone when he’s talking to me and it’s a terrible habit. Since I work from my phone and laptop, my solution is to create stricter boundaries of when it’s work time and when the devices go away so I can work on being more present.
Be more punctual
When your friends joke that you’ll be late to your own funeral it’s almost embarrassing. Punctuality is the most basic prerequisite for being an adult but I’m still running around with my hair on fire at 27 years old. I’m a hot mess I’ll admit, but I always somehow pull it off in the most fashionable way. Like I’m the girl wrapping Christmas presents at 11:59pm on Christmas Eve but it’ll look like a Martha Stewart presentation. My schedule is super demanding and I just need to be more disciplined with my time batching. I’ve designated a new section in my planner where I tally all of the times I’m late during the week. My goal is to stay under 5x for the month. This goes for all things- social events, meeting a friend for coffee, SLT class, work appointments, email deadlines, etc. I got this!
Be more responsible
As professional and goal oriented as I am, sometimes I’m a total frat star. One of the biggest areas of improvement for me will be to stop putting things off and procrastinating. Be more fiscally responsible (like do I realllllly need that), balance housewife/work-wife better, don’t wait to do things last fucking minute, and be less careless. I’m inherently a pretty careless person sometimes, a lot of things don’t bother me and I assume others feel the same. I need to groom myself for motherhood one day so being more responsible is a top priority this year.
Grow Grave and Vanity and my other social media
My area of focus this year is to be more consistent on my blog and social media to continue growing these amazing platforms. Since launching Grave and Vanity in 2017 it’s grown 1896%! I want to continue to add value to my followers and challenge myself to become a better blogger. If you do not have a personal brand in 2020 you are missing out on a big piece of the market. I’m going to write a separate post about how I leverage social media to collaborate with companies and build my business because I think it’ll encourage a lot of you to get into this space. My Instagram goal is to try and hit 10k followers so I can get swipe up and really monetize the platform!
Launch Hashtag Official
Probably one of my greatest achievements, yet. I cannot wait to launch this app, I’m trying to be humble here but it’s going to be revolutionary guys. It’s coming out exactly how I envisioned it. It’s a platform for trendsetters and on-brand businesses to connect in a way never done before. Imagine if Instagram, Pinterest and Yelp had a baby. Now picture the chicest platform ever. MEET HASHTAG!!
Hit top sales
For the last 3 years I’ve brought it top sales for my company consistently. It’s a pretty cool accomplishment considering I work with mostly all men. I sold $3 million in contracts in 2019, so my goal is to sell $3.5 million for 2020. I made the most amount of money so far last year and I want to increase my income by 25% for this year.
Get over my fear of public speaking
You heard me right. I’m fucking petrified of public speaking. Like if I have to stand up in front of a group or do a presentation I completely black out. It’s bizarre because I excel in sales and when I was pledging a sorority I used to do these outlandish skits in front of the sisters that were beyond mortifying. It didn’t bother me. Just stages and round tables freak me out. I take polarity therapy to try and work through these fears but the only way to conquer it is to just keep doing it. If I plan on running a company and being a public figure in the future I know this is a fear I need to take control of.
I want to read 5 books this year. Pathetic, I know but I’m just being super real. I have a lot on my plate and reading hasn’t been at the top of my list. I try to supplement this by listening to podcasts when I’m on the road or in the shower because it’s the most efficient way to get content in. I like to consume motivational content, I’m not a big fiction reader. Maybe when I have more down time I’ll dabble with fairies and vampires but if you have any good book recommendations leave them below!
Be a good wife and partner
A relationship is a lot of work and and I’m committed to constantly working on myself and each other. I believe the secret to a successful marriage is to have multiple relationships.. with the same person. Keep things interesting! Date each other. Be genuinely interested in your partner. Take care of your appearance, don’t complain so much, be happy to do things for them, surprise them just because! You don’t have to get them a card just on a special occasion, leave a note letting them know how much you care and appreciate who they are. These little gestures will go a long way and make your relationship unbreakable. Pasquale and I are about to hit our 10 year anniversary and I’m happy to say I love him more and more everyday. Some of the things I want to work on to strengthen our relationship is be more present, date more, express more support and appreciation, and cook more – lol.
I’ll be the first to admit I was spending money recklessly and it wasn’t until I started auditing my expenses with my Mint account that I had a serious awakening (and nervous breakdown). My 2 biggest investments this year are the wedding and Hashtag so I want to be wise with what we spend our money on. I have a monetary goal in mind that I would like to reach so I will check back in next year to see how I did.
Blog 2x a week
I want to try to hold myself to this number and publish at least 8 blog posts a month. Not only will this help me grow this community but it will also challenge me to create awesome content for you guys!
Travel to the South of France
I’d like to sip a large piscine in a floppy hat with my pinky up on a yacht in St. Tropez. In case you are unfamiliar with what the hell a piscine is, it’s a giant goblet of champagne on ice. It was inspired by Bill Murray and it turns out he was quite the trendsetter.
Buy a house
This is a stretch goal with everything we have going on. We’re working our asses off so hopefully things come to fruition and we can move out of our apartment and give our kitties a big sun room with lots of room to play. Although I have to admit it’s going to be a sad day when we move out of here, I feel like this blog all started from this German smear I painted in our apartment!